Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
This baby is an asshole
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize