dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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