He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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