Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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