So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
