I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
