So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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