Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
