You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.