I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.