Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
These 23 Groupies Had The Most Insane Sexual Experiences With Celebs
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
35 Of The Funniest Things People Said While Banging
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?