He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
