Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
