he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
