bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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