The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize