Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
