My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize