im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize