he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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