Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
