even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
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I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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