I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
