shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
