did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
