I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
