Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
