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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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