Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
No stitches, just platelets and will power
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize