I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.