I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
and she was petting her beer can
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
