i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he puts the penis in happiness.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I want to fling myself into the sun
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?