need another drink. this is the easiest way
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
