NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
