"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
