he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
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hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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