whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
