It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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