Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Michael Bay diarrhea
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
