I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
