this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize