im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
