Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
