we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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