is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
