using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
