Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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