he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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