You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
