Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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