we have pet lesbian snakes
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You pole danced in your parka.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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