i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
