so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
