I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
