i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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