dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Randomize
