we're blogging at a bar
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
