Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
