he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
