so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
