I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
