did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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