Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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