Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
