if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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