it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
