I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
