you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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