whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
