My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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