I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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