Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
