I think I died a long time ago.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
well I can't set my house on fire every night
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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