Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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