Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
