well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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