My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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