O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
